Still Alive

It's been a while, so I thought I'd drop in and say 'ello to all the bloody wankers who follow me little blog. I'm still here, still alive, still writing.

The past couple of weeks have been kind of hectic. My younger brother came up from Florida to stay with me, and we've decided to extend his stay an extra week, so I've been really busy entertaining (not literally can-canning for him or anything, but, you know) and spending most of my free time writing.

On that front, things are well. I'm over 6,000 words into a fantasy short (which is looking more and more like a fantasy long) and about two hundred words into a quirky little piece of flash I'd like to have finished up in the next couple of days. The flash piece is interesting, mostly because I had kind of unofficially retired from flash. Not because I don't enjoy it, but it just seems like nothing wants to stay under a thousand words anymore. And the things I've written that do manage to limbo beneath that number tend to lack the things that make a story a story, like character development or coherent plot. So, like any good quitter, I quit writing it. Yet just last night, I get struck with this incredible idea and had to start writing.

That's when I found out something odd about myself: It seems I write in proportion to the story. What I mean by that is if I'm writing a 5-thousand word story, I can sit down and write a thousand or two words in one sitting. If the story is flash, I can write a hundred or two. Is that weird?

Anyway, just wanted to make sure this blog didn't die, because I know there's nothing worse than having a dead blog weighing down your blogroll. So, there, that's my public service for the week. Year? Possibly.

I, Writer

Howdy, stranger.

It's been too long.

The last time I was here, I said I'd take a week or two to rest. A week or two become three and a half months. No doubt time I will look back upon as an old man and wish I could have back, swear now I know how to use it. Don't they say youth is wasted on the young? Enough of it has been wasted on me, I think.

Maybe I shouldn't be so tough on myself. I didn't stop writing because I was afraid of the rejections or failure. I stopped because I was tired. All summer and into the fall, I tried to cram in all the experience I didn't get in my teens and 20s before my 30th birthday. Like a midlife crisis, but instead of sports cars and girlfriends ten years my junior, I overcompensated by sitting in front of my laptop so long that I got a monitor burn. Yeah, I had "OpenOffice" seared in my forehead backwards for a week.

I even had trouble reading. I'm usually able to sit down for hours with a good book, but it was getting to the point where I wasn't reading much of anything, and even after I took a break I was having a hard time reading without getting distracted.

Wasn't all bad, though. I received a lovely new Nook on Christmas, and that has completely cured me of my reading trouble. I've already torn through three books this year (China Mieville's Iron Council and Looking For Jake, and Cormack McCarthy's The Road) and I'm deep into another McCarthy tale, Blood Meridian, as well as Mieville's latest, Kraken. (I know, kind of McCarthy-Mieville heavy. Don't worry, I've also got Jeff VanderMeer's Shriek: An Afterword) on deck, and even a non-fiction by Physicist Brian Greene entitled The Hidden Reality, which is about quantum physics and parallel universes. So I'm really back into the swing of it, as far as my reading goes.

The reason I titled this entry "I, Writer" is because once I started reading again, it wasn't long before I started feeling that old pull again. Every time I'd turn it on I'd get drunk on words and story and have to shut it off and write. Got about four thousand words into a short before I ran out of steam. Hey, it happens.

Then I got a personal rejection for "The Machine" from the friendly folks at On Spec magazine. They said the plot was broken because the initial setup was steampunk, yet the characters were modern. I was blown away by this response, because I definitely did not intend the story to appear at all steampunk.

How do you like that? Accidental Steampunk! I just started a new genre.

Anyway, I went back and revised it, and that really got my blood pumping. Not just the revision itself, but that I really, really loved it. I think I did a great job! I really do. I only wish I had gotten it this polished before I sent it out the first time. I'm starting to run out of pro genre mags, as this is easily my most well-traveled piece. But it's off at another market, and we'll see what happens.

As for me, I've already begun working on another piece. Literary, not genre. Nice change of pace, I think. It's about a boy who gets bullied at school. I can already see the Cormack McCarthy influence in it (No quotation marks, very few commas), and I'm really enjoying myself. I'm telling the story out-of-order, as well. Don't know why. It just feels right. That's the thing: I'm feeling so artistic lately, like I've got all this creativity inside begging to be let out.

I'm excited to feel this way, but it's tempered with regret for what had to happen to get here. I also have to confront what happened at the writing group, as unpleasant as that will be. I know my reasons for leaving were sound, but I have to ask myself if I was really just in a bad situation, or if I might have brought the troubles on myself. There were some good people there. Mike was much too distant for my taste, and I wasn't comfortable with a fellow relatively-unaccomplished writer being "in charge", but I don't know that I handled it correctly.

I was put off by how she spoke to me, but could I have handled it better? I feel  I may have started counting enemies before anything happened. Maybe that combative mindset hurt me.

I don't know how well it would have worked out in the long run regardless, but I can't deny that I learned something from it, even if those lessons weren't the ones intended.

Anyway, I'm just glad to be writing again. This time around I know what my priorities are, and in what order they belong. I write because it's fun, not because I feel like I have to get my career going. I'm not going to be a famous author by 30 (since I already am 30) so I can stop panicking. No more pressure. No more deadlines.

Anybody Got a Light?

I'm to the point now in my life as an ex-smoker that the usual tasks I used to be unable to accomplish without a cigarette in hand--or at least the promise of one as reward for completion--no longer remind me that I am, in fact, an ex-smoker. I'm less than a year and a half removed from my last cigarette, but it took all of a year to get over that. 

One of those tasks is writing. And not just writing, but writing madly; you know, those really good sessions where you're hitting all the right notes, so confident that you start improvising like Satchmo. Finally, these sessions don't make me crave the cancer stick. 

Though writing about it, of course, now does.

Anyway, the last two nights have been very productive, and I finished off the first draft of my wasteland story, tentatively titled "Chasing the Sunset," though if you followed my old Livejournal blog, you know I change title like I change underwear. (that's daily, in case you were wondering)

I think it's a good story. I hope it has style and substance. I'm still trying to learn how to write distinctive first-person stories, and I don't know that I'm there yet. Reading a lot of China Mieville lately has me doing that; he's the most literary writer of pulp I've ever read, and it has me blushing with jealousy every time I pick up The City & The City. I don't know if this story has the voice I want it to have, but I think it's as close as I've come so far. 

Anyway, I'll see if I can polish it up in the next day or two so my fellow Hothousers can tear it apart and make it better. In the meantime, I'm waiting rather impatiently for Spectra Magazine to announce the winner (and runners up) of their September Flash Fiction contest. The editors were somewhat vague about when we'd find out, saying only that we'd hear about the grand prize winner "before October," and to "check issue two for the runners up." Issue two SHOULD come out on Oct 1, given that Issue one came out on Sept 1...but this is a genre fiction magazine, and anything is possible.

If the editors are reading this, I in no way am attempting to influence your decision, but...PICK ME. Daddy needs him some Kindle. 

Slacking...

Sorry I've been falling a little behind on Ye Olde Blogg here, but it's been a fairly eventful week. First, I was invited to apply to a rather prestigious writing group, which, of course, blew my mind. I spent two days punching myself in the forehead, but no ideas came. Then, in the wee hours of that second day, it hit me, and I spent all of two hours pounding out the 500-word (875-word, in reality) application story. I'll post an update when I hear back from them on their decision.

On other fronts, I was sitting my living room yesterday when I noticed two suspicious folks wandering around my car. I ran outside to meet them, and it turns out they work for the complex I live in. I had somehow missed that my registration had expired, and according to their policy, unregistered vehicles cannot be parked on their grounds. So I had to get that taken care of today (only $50, but still, that's $50 I needed for other things). The inspection also just ran out (I'm a dumbass, I know) so I still have that to get taken care of, but that isn't quite as pressing as my registration, which is now kosher, and my car won't be towed.

My 60-word short story is still up at the Spectra Magazine forums. It is tied for the most comments, and has a slight lead in views over the competition, but it was posted, what, a week ago? It's heading towards the bottom of the page, so if you are reading this and you haven't stopped by and signed up to post a comment, please, for all that is holy and good and kind, click on the link I have just provided, and say something about my story. It's 73 words total (13 for the line we all have to use, which doesn't count toward the total) so it won't take up more than 30 seconds of your time, if that. And signing up is a breeze. Remember, if I win, I get a new Amazon Kindle. If I finish in the top ten, I get published in their magazine, and a cut of the royalties.

What else? Oh, I'm working on another awesome story right now, but I'd rather not jinx it by giving too much detail. I'll post most when it's finished.